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Fun
& Games
Take
a few minutes from your busy schedule to have a little fun.
The Washington Post publishes a yearly contest
in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for
various words. The following were some of this year's winning
entries:
1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how
much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever
having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation
while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition
in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.
7. Lymph
(v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.), the emergency vehicle that
picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an
exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor
assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.
13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his
conversation with Yiddish expressions.
14. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front
of boxer shorts.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that,
when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Pokemon (n.), A Jamaican proctologist.
--Shel Horowitz
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